Another Time

I was called into the 13th Dimension to the Frathea sector. I had a mission on Vathek, the biotech planet. It was supposed to be a simple mission(they always tell me that). You see, the crazy bio-engineers were working on a new cyborg secretary to help out our new nebbish President of the Intergalactic Space Directorate. He needed someone to help him put people in their place, get him cigarettes when he was over stressed, and dispense tissues when things got too hard for him to handle . This guy was a real loser. That's why the scientist came up with this new machine. They called it the Mechinoid Indigenous Captivator Hot Intelligent Bitch Of Tomorrow or MICHIBOT, but it's creator Dr. Robison called it Michelle. He thought it to be his best work. Beauty and Science at their best. And I couldn't help but agree. This thing was way more advanced than anything I've ever seen...........and it was really hot. Directions were clear. Escort MICHIBOT to the Directorate capitol in the 1st Dimension. Robison made sure to tell me to keep a look out for any suspicious looking people. He said that other dimensions would implode homeworlds for this kinda technology. I told him not to worry and I was off. I wanted this simple mission to be simple for once, so I decided to hyper phase warp through all of the other dimensions. I didn't want any trouble. I had my coordinates set and everything was buckled up and locked in. But just as I was going to engage my thrusters, the BOT started talking. I really wish it had said something sooner and a whole lot sweeter. Unfortunately, all it had to say was this: " Worm Bomb Detected. Prepare for Impact". They always say these missions are going to be simple. That's a bunch of bull. The worm bomb went off and sent us spiraling. I hate those damn things. They're these little bombs that first send off an EMP to shut down your cruiser then open up a wormhole to send you to a predetermined destination. It's like you're riding a rollercoaster and right when you're about to hit the loop your safety rail pop off. The only thing you do is hold on for dear life. The doc told me there were going to be some nasty people after this thing. And he was right. When we arrived to our new destination, there was only one thought that went through my mind. "Figures". We ended up in the 12th Dimension............The Realm of Chaos.

Until next time,
Christopher DeLaPaz I.S.D. Out.


I really hope Barthalog isn't still mad at me.

The Quarter Moon

And there I was. Lost within the Amazonian jungles of the Prilac sector. I hate traveling the Ferral dimension. I was called in to bring some wackjob doctor in for questioning. I found the doctor, but the Directorate failed to inform me that he's one of the most feared creatures in the universe.......A Werebear. I was trained for this kinda stuff. I'm knee deep in mud, everything in front of me is green, and the only thing I hear is the crash of lightning from the stormshowers. At least, that's what I hope it is. Otherwise, it sounds like my Werebear doc is gettin hungry. Not many people know how to stop a Werebear. The only weakness is the shot of a silver plasma rifle/pistol round. That's what I hear anyway. No one's ever lived long enough to shoot one off on a werebear. I always keep on just in case. Let's hope I'm quick enough. I need some jams to loosen me up a bit. I'm glad I brought my I.S.D issued Zune(product placement). I put it on random. A lot of this music is put on by the Directorate. Some of it just sounds weird. Anyway, all of a sudden, I hear something. A vicious growl. It's here. I look around me. I can't see anything. The sun is gone now. Nothing left but me, the werebear, and the jungle darkness. Suddenly, lightning strikes and I can see everything around me. Especially, the werebear charging towards me. I didn't know what to do. I thought this was the end(for real). But right as I was being charged a song started playing on my Zune. I couldn't understand it, especially the parts about big cheese, asswipes, and hashpipes. All I knew is that I couldn't help but jam out. If I was gonna go, then I was gonna go rocking. And as soon as I began rocking out with the air guitar, the werebear joined in. It could hear my music. It was rocking rhythm air guitar for me. And at that moment we bonded. We reached a bond that seemed impossible for to living things to reach. We became bros at that moment. When the song finally finished, the creature stood there in confusion trying to figure out where the music went. I decided to take this time to blast his shit into next week. He tried to jump at me, but I was able to get him. Right between the eyes. It was over and I could finally take it in for questioning. But I really wish, I could've gotten the shot off sooner. The damn thing got me pretty good.

Until Next Time,
Christopher DeLaPaz I.S.D out

The End (Not Really)

It all came down to my mistake. I thought I had it all figured out. But it seemed liked Barthalog got the jump on me. I was flagged. The Intergalactic Space Directorate sent out a warrant for my permenent termination. Chills went down my spine. I was alone now. All I had was my Level 387B Space Cruiser(Your basic hunk-o-junk ISD cruiser, but it's gotten me out of a lot of tight spots), my intergalactic space plasma rifle/pistol, and DethKlaw(my stuffed werebear. He helps me sleep at night). I figured it to be right. The hunter becomes the hunted. I new I should've verified my email address in the Directorate's mainframe. I guess I'll just have to request a renewal. But that'll mean a trip to HQ. I wasn't expecting a trip to Wetchbak(Space Mexico) so soon. Oh well, looks like another sticky situation.

Until next time,
Christopher De La Paz I.S.D.

The Humdrum

So I woke up this morning and I felt it. Wait.........I smelled it. It was in the air. The smell of...evil. So I went downstairs to investigate and saw the injustice of space in my can of......uhm...cannniness. So I decided to move. I quickly grabbed its containment bags and prepared to send it to the oblivion pod. Suddenly, I heard a tearing sound. My containment bags were losing their hold. Injustice was all over my gravity floor. I grabbed the hydroelectric sponge on a stick(it's like a swiffer, but it can kill people). I brought my floor to order and procceded to the oblivion pods. After I sent the injustice to the void, I thought it to be a job well done.


Almost as well done as the time I battled Barthalog of the 12th Dimension back into containment in the Chaos galaxy. But that's a story for another time.

Christopher De La Paz I.S.D Out