The Mayhnohtawr Part Two

Many things can go through a man's head just before he's about to be smashed to bits by a colossal hammer. I had to think quick in order to defeat this beast. I looked around me to see what I can use. All I see is crushed rock, broken down trees, and all sorts of furry little creatures running for their lives. I hate furry little creatures. Useless vermin is all they are. They're covered in filth and carry countless diseases. Just the thought of them makes my allergies act up. That's it. It may be a bit much. But it has to work. I look up at the hammer with my eyes filled with tears and my nostrils flared. I take a deep breath and let him have it. I'm not allowed to sneeze anywhere in the galaxy, due to their destructive powers. And because of the damage I've caused with my sneezes, I am sometimes referred to as "The Hurricane". I sneeze once to knock the hammer out of the bull monster's hands. A second one knocks him on his ass. And finally, I jump up on to the monster's chest, look him dead in the eyes and I sneeze a third time to end it. As soon as I take this final sneeze, I see the flesh get blown right off the face of the Mayhnohtawr. Their is dust and debris everywhere. A few of the mountains that were standing behind the Mayhnohtawr are no longer there. Perhaps I over did it. The dust began to settle. I look down at where the Mayhnotawr's head is supposed to be. I don't expect much to be left after a direct hit like that but maybe a few skull fragments. Everything is clear. And much to my surprise, all I see are wires, circuits, and a mutilated metal Mayhnohtawr skull. What the hell is going on? A machine? Suddenly, I hear a thumping on the inside of the monster's chest. I think to myself, "It's heart is still beating." Then I hear a voice call out, " Hello? Is anyone out there?" It was a cute voice that sounded much like a mongoloid Ringo Starr. It called out again " I'm stuck. I'd greatly appreciate it if you would just help me out." Is this thing serious? "I'm very sorry for trying to smash you to bits," it called out again. Well, if it's sorry, Iguess I could help him out. One punch is all it takes for me to break through the contraptions shell. I reach my hand out to help the creature insinde. A big furry hand takes mine, " Thank you very much. Mr. I.S.D. I would've gone crazy. You see, I'm a bit claustrophobic." I can't believe this thing is the legendary Mayhnohtawr. He dusts himself off and makes his way to the ground. I jump down off his hunk-o-juck mayhnohbot. Hearing the beast talk and seeing how he acts, he comes off as a bit...Well, how can I say this? He comes off as a bit of a puss. Very well groomed, his horns polished, bull's beard trimmed, and shiny hooves. It doesn't look like he hasn't seen much battle. But don't get me wrong. He's still a "mayhnohtawr". Though, not as tall as his metal shell. He reached 11 feet easy. His body is built like an ox in his prime. He looks to me with kind, concerned eyes, " I'm terribly sorry for trying to kill you, mate. It's just business, you know? If you don't hurt me, I'll be glad to help you with whatever you need..." As he was politely rambling, I though it'd be good to cut to the chase. So I socked him in the nose, grabbed the bull by the horns(HA!), slammed his head into the ground, and said."Alright freak! Tell me where Michibot is or I swear to God I'll chop your head off and use as a toilet in my cruiser!" "I don't know!" he responded barely conscious. I stuck my hand in his mouth and grabbed his tongue. "Okay, Assface! Tell me or your tongue is getting shoved into my breakfast burrito." He decided to cooperate. "Chrolls thook her!" He managed to spit out while his tongue was still in my hand. I let go. I didn't have to ask him to know what he was trying to say. I hate trolls.

Until Next Time,
Christopher DeLaPaz I.S.D. Out

The Mahynohtawr

I just keep running. There's no way I'm fighting a minotaur with no weapon. I wish Barthalog would've left something to help me survive. Oh well. I'll play this one by the book. Just try your best to survive. That's what the handbook tells us. But I'm gonna have a hard time in this jam. Every corner I turn, I hear the minotaur's footsteps getting closer. As I turn one corner, I almost fall into a pit of acid bullfrogs. I have to stay focused. Otherwise, this planet will get the best of me. I stop for a rest. Everything goes quiet. The footsteps have stopped. I look around. All I see are walls and corners and crimson sky. Things are calm. Calm and suspicious. I don't like it. The air grows heavy. Hot and wet. I don't remember the humidity being this thick......and spastic.......and feeling as if there were some giant bull-like creature standing over me breathing heavily over my head. Oh Shit. The minotaur has me. I look up and lo and behold, there he is. He snarls and grunts. The force from his nostrils shift the clouds in the sky in the opposite direction. This mammoth creature truly is god-like. He looks down at me with his eyes as black as the void. He opens his mouth to speak "WHO DARES TO WANDER IN THE REALM OF THE MAHYNOHTAWR!" The mountains shake at his thunderous voice. I look up at him and reply "Uhm.....(clears throat).... It is I, Christopher DeLaPaz I.S.D." "WHO?!" He throws back to me another crack of thunder. "Chris I.S.D, oh mighty minotaur" I manage to push out of my mouth along with the brick I manage to push into my pants. "MINI-TAR?!?! I AM NOT VERY SMALL TAR, CHRIS I.S.D! I AM THE MAYHNOHTAWR!" "That's kinda gay!" I reply when I subconsciously decide I don't want to live anymore. "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, VERMIN?!?!" Yeah. I pissed him off. I figured that out by the sound of his voice. I also realized it when he started lifting his hammer over his head which I mistook for a mountain resting behind him. I'm not looking forward to this amount of pain. He swings down with a force that seems to blow all the stone labyrinth walls into dust. I look up and watch the mountain size hammerhead come down. I think about my life. I've been hunted down by men I was supposed to be hunting. I've been sent to realms, dimensions, galaxies, and wormholes that I was never supposed to come back from. I've been wrongfully imprisoned, tortured for months on end, and have had many of girlfriend with crazy dads with guns. I've faced things that would make a normal man go insane within a matter of seconds. So as this hammer is about to crush me, I lift my hand up and roar right back at the "mayhnohtawr", "I AM FUCKING CHRISTOPHER DELAPAZ I.S.D! AND I AM ABOUT TO END YOU!!!!" I think it's time to show this thing what madness looks like.

Until Next Time,
Christopher DeLaPaz I.S.D out